"C'mon, Marge, it's like kissing a peanut!"-Homer telling marge to kiss molemans head, when they thought that Moleman was Bart.
"The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage..."
Marge - "Maybe I am insane, I mean, I am talking to myself."
Hans - "You are. Oh, I thought I made a friend."
"He ate my last meal!"
"Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old"
"Mom, Dad, I missed you."
"Cowabunga, dudes!"
"A poem by Hans Moleman: I think that I will never see, My cateracts are blinding me."
"Hello, this is Moleman in the morning. Good Moleman to you. Today, part 4 of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every day."
Bart-"no youre gay with moleman"
Lisa-"no youre gay with moleman"
Moleman-"nobodys gay with moleman"
Homer: here's a quarter. You go call for help, and I'll protect the sugar.
Hans: If only this sugar were as sweet as you, sir.
Hans Moleman: Lesbian?! This isn't my army reunion.
Gay man in army clothes: You're coming home with me.
Hans Moleman: Yes, Colonel.
(Apu comes back to his store after closing it down for 5 minutes – Hans is waiting) Hans Moleman: You cost me 5 minutes of my life and I want them back!
Apu: I am sorry, sir.
Hans Moleman: Never mind, I would have just wasted them anyway.
